Well, I have finished week 1 of the Beth Moore study "Living Beyond Yourself." It has been a truly amazing week. This week was pretty much an overview of the book of Galatians and laying the foundation for the work of the Holy Spirit. The letter of Galatians was written to young Christians in danger of losing their freedom in Christ; how appropriate for me. Beth Moore emphasized throughout her video, "An unsatisfied soul is a stronghold waiting to happen" and I have been discovering how true that is as I have returned to the habit of finding more and more of my identity in the tasks that I accomplish and grown more and more distant from my Abba Daddy. I have been so busy doing things that I remain unsatisfied and constantly longing for more; it has brought me to a dangerous place...losing my first love. So what did I learn this week about returning to my first love? What can I do to make it happen? How do I go about doing it? Is there a book about it? These are all the questions I usually ask, so I assume there is the possibility that you may ask it too. To answer all the questions, let me just tell you about the week of study.
The topics for the week covered many hardships, pleasing God, crucified, credited Righteousness, and Abba, Father. At the beginning of each day's lessons I would begin by reading the assigned Bible readings out loud. As the week progressed I noticed a pattern, every time I began reading out loud I felt as if the Word was being spoken to me and over me. It was as if I could hear the heart of the individual who had penned it and it was penned directly to me. I read about people who endured many hardships because of their belief in Jesus Christ and meditated on the passage Acts 14:22 "...We must go through many hardships to enter the Kingdom of God..." and all I could think of was the hardships Christ endured so I could enter the Kingdom of God. As I read about pleasing God, the Scriptures spoke to me again and again about how Christ died for me while I was a sinner; how God sacrificed His only Son because it pleased Him. Beth Moore wrote, "The demands HE makes on our lives are NEVER for His personal gain. We cannot make Him any more God than He already is. Every urging and exhortation of God to us is for one major reason. He desires that we have the pleasure of knowing, serving, and sharing Him." I read about how Christ was crucified and separated from the Father so I would never be abandoned or forsaken. The week went on to highlight how Abraham believed God's promise and God credited him with righteousness. At the conclusion of the week we focused on my adoption into the family of God (Gal.4:6). At the end of every day's lesson we were asked, "How does God want you to respond to what He showed you today;" there was only one response from me, every day, tears and more tears as I was overwhelmed at the utterly captivating love of God. I was reminded that my freedom is grounded in His love and I experienced a refreshing, overwhelming, intimate sense of His nearness to me and His passion for me. I cried at His delight in me and the sound of His voice as He spoke over me.
I concluded the week watching the video for week 1 and, sure enough, as the video drew to a close the tears began to fall. Beth Moore taught about the Spirit lived life, the life beyond myself, was as simple as pouring out my sins in confession to God and then actively receiving His forgiveness through acknowledgment of what He had done. She then went on to speak about pouring out my concerns so that I would be an empty vessel to be filled with what would truly satisfy me. After she spoke about pouring out, she covered pouring in. This is what God does when we empty ourselves to Him, He pours His Spirit into us (Eph.5:18). The conclusion of the teaching then spoke of God pouring forth through our lives.
That was such a precious segment because she spoke of the man and woman of God who had instilled in her a passion for the word of God. I cried. I saw that passion the first time I ever heard Beth Moore speak and read her first bible study. It made me cry then because I wanted so much to be a person of passion about the Word of God. She told of the people who made her feel that way and how God has poured forth through her life into the life of others.
On our women cafe sight where we are doing the Bible study they posted a discussion question about gardening tools. I am a horrible gardener. I kill plants. They don't do well with me. I helped my husband plant a vegetable garden this year in sandy soil. Vegetables don't grow in infertile soil. In order to answer the question I had to google basic gardening tools for the beginning gardener. I looked over the list of several tools: spading fork, hoe, round-ended shovel, bow rake, garden shears, and a watering can. I thought of the various uses of these tools and the Scriptures I had read during the week. I started to think about what tools I would need for cultivating this garden, as I begin the fruit of the Spirit.
As I thought back over the week of Scripture study and the video segment I watched, I remembered a visual God gave me several years ago of a tree. I was thinking about the fruit of the Spirit and a fruit tree. I could see the young tree in my mind. I remember wondering to myself, how do I grow fruit? I knew that a tree doesn't will itself to grow branches, it doesn't grunt and groan and stretch, in order to produce a piece of fruit. I could imagine myself as a fruit tree, "uuuuuhhhh, uuuuuhhhh, uuuuuuhhh, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can grow this fruit! Just a little bit longer now. Just a little bit harder now. uuuuuuhhhhhhh, uuuuuuuhhhhh, uuuuuuhhhhhh! I did it! I did it! I grew an orange!" What a ridiculous image! A tree doesn't grow fruit because it wills itself to or because of the great effort it exerts. The tree grows fruit as the gardener cares for it.
I thought about my passion. I thought about the hardships. I thought about the crucified life. I thought about how hard every part of it used to feel, before my freedom, like the young Galatians. Then I thought about the wonderful moments I spent in the presence of the King this week and I thought of all that He did for me; all that He desires for me, and all that He feels for me. I thought about my response, every day, to His Word and the tears that were shed as well as the comfort I found just resting in His overwhelming love; I chose a watering can. All I have to do is pour out my sins and concerns and my Abba Daddy, my Daddy, will do all the rest, all I have to do is just love Him; that's so easy to do when feeling overwhelmingly, captivatingly, passionately, irrevocably, loved by Him.
9/16/10
Living Beyond Yourself Introduction and Start Day
Living Beyond Yourself Introduction and Start Day
I am a few days late in beginning this study, but better late than never. I wasn't sure what I wanted to post on this first blog. I created the blogging account for the specific purpose of writing while doing the study, so that I can share it with others and look back over myself. The first assignment for this week is to write in the beginning of our book a letter to God telling Him why I am taking the study, what I hope to learn from it, and asking for His presence and blessing over it. I have decided to make this letter my first blogging entry.
For those of you who know nothing about Beth Moore studies, they are notorious for being homework extensive. The week is broken up into five days of homework, traditionally Monday through Friday. Each day's homework takes approximately 45 minutes to an hour to complete; the more you get into it, the longer it takes. In past studies I have done, like this one, I have started at 45 minutes to an hour a day and found myself so hungry and so fascinated by the Word and all that it said that my study times increased and sometimes I would spend several hours in the Word and just meditating on the wonderful things that I had learned. Currently I am home schooling my youngest daughter, I work part time, and am a full time college student working on a Ph.D. in health psychology. I have three dogs and a young adult daughter that I spend a great deal of time with. I also teach a Sunday school class at church and organize quarterly teacher trainings at the church. I am involved in our praise and worship and am currently pursuing ministerial licensing so I can complete internship hours toward becoming a hospital chaplain. WHEW! I am tired just writing it all. So why in the world would I commit to an in-depth study of this magnitude?
We spent 8 years living in Germany. During those 8 years I spent hour upon hour in the Word of God, doing structured studies like this. During that time in my life God moved in such a wonderful way. I was closer to Him than I ever remember being in my life. Since living in the states I have become preoccupied with the pursuit of other things and neglected the study and application of God's Word with the passion I once had; it has been felt in my relationship with the Lord. I miss my God. I miss the quiet times when I would read His Word and it would just wash over me. I miss the long discussions we would have as a truth would begin to live and breath inside of me and I understood it within the context of all that was happening in my life. I miss the passion I had to speak the word to anyone or anything that would listen, even the dogs. I miss the closeness I felt as He would wrap His arms around me, hold me close, and speak His Word in my ear and it would resonate within my heart. Nothing can replace that intimacy! I am doing the study to rediscover that connection and know the quiet and remarkable awe that lives inside of me as I rest in the promises and renewal of His Word.
Recently I was reading about how Israel lost a battle to the Philistines because they went to war without the presence of God. They didn't have His ark with them and even though they went proclaiming His name, they went without His presence. I began to think about what this meant to me. The ark of the Covenant had a lid and on the lid was the mercy seat, it was within the mercy seat that the glory of God would come to rest; within the ark was the Ten Commandments, a jar of manna, and Aaron's budded rod. As I meditated on this I began to wonder how I could have the glory of God in my life is I kept trying to separate it from His Word. I wanted Jesus as my mercy seat and the glory of God to dwell within me and on me but I also wanted it without the time spent in His Word or in the application of His Word. I professed His name and went out with the pretense of His glory but failed to recognize the departure of the glory that had taken place, my life was being marked with Ichabod, the place where God's glory once dwelt but was no more. His glory and His presence cannot be separated from His Word; when that takes place we lose access to His daily provision (the manna) as well as His protection and guidance (Aaron's rod) because they all accompany one another, the Word of the Lord, the presence of Christ, the provision of God, the protection and guidance He provides, and His glory. If the Word of God is not a part of my daily life I can safely assume that none of the others are present either.
I am desiring to see within myself the God given potential that I see in so many others around me. Living Beyond Yourself is an excellent place to begin as I learn about the power of living in the Spirit and give priority to the Word of God in my life once again, with both passion and purpose.
Abba Daddy,
Let Your Word live and breath inside of me as I do this study. Be with me during this time. I surrender every area of my life and ask that You would search through it, rightly dividing it with the Word. Use Your Word to sanctify me and wash over me that I would become more like You. I ask that this time of study would be a time we would become closer as I learn more about You and Your lavish love for me. Let there be less and less of me and so much more of You. In Jesus name, AMEN!
I am a few days late in beginning this study, but better late than never. I wasn't sure what I wanted to post on this first blog. I created the blogging account for the specific purpose of writing while doing the study, so that I can share it with others and look back over myself. The first assignment for this week is to write in the beginning of our book a letter to God telling Him why I am taking the study, what I hope to learn from it, and asking for His presence and blessing over it. I have decided to make this letter my first blogging entry.
For those of you who know nothing about Beth Moore studies, they are notorious for being homework extensive. The week is broken up into five days of homework, traditionally Monday through Friday. Each day's homework takes approximately 45 minutes to an hour to complete; the more you get into it, the longer it takes. In past studies I have done, like this one, I have started at 45 minutes to an hour a day and found myself so hungry and so fascinated by the Word and all that it said that my study times increased and sometimes I would spend several hours in the Word and just meditating on the wonderful things that I had learned. Currently I am home schooling my youngest daughter, I work part time, and am a full time college student working on a Ph.D. in health psychology. I have three dogs and a young adult daughter that I spend a great deal of time with. I also teach a Sunday school class at church and organize quarterly teacher trainings at the church. I am involved in our praise and worship and am currently pursuing ministerial licensing so I can complete internship hours toward becoming a hospital chaplain. WHEW! I am tired just writing it all. So why in the world would I commit to an in-depth study of this magnitude?
We spent 8 years living in Germany. During those 8 years I spent hour upon hour in the Word of God, doing structured studies like this. During that time in my life God moved in such a wonderful way. I was closer to Him than I ever remember being in my life. Since living in the states I have become preoccupied with the pursuit of other things and neglected the study and application of God's Word with the passion I once had; it has been felt in my relationship with the Lord. I miss my God. I miss the quiet times when I would read His Word and it would just wash over me. I miss the long discussions we would have as a truth would begin to live and breath inside of me and I understood it within the context of all that was happening in my life. I miss the passion I had to speak the word to anyone or anything that would listen, even the dogs. I miss the closeness I felt as He would wrap His arms around me, hold me close, and speak His Word in my ear and it would resonate within my heart. Nothing can replace that intimacy! I am doing the study to rediscover that connection and know the quiet and remarkable awe that lives inside of me as I rest in the promises and renewal of His Word.
Recently I was reading about how Israel lost a battle to the Philistines because they went to war without the presence of God. They didn't have His ark with them and even though they went proclaiming His name, they went without His presence. I began to think about what this meant to me. The ark of the Covenant had a lid and on the lid was the mercy seat, it was within the mercy seat that the glory of God would come to rest; within the ark was the Ten Commandments, a jar of manna, and Aaron's budded rod. As I meditated on this I began to wonder how I could have the glory of God in my life is I kept trying to separate it from His Word. I wanted Jesus as my mercy seat and the glory of God to dwell within me and on me but I also wanted it without the time spent in His Word or in the application of His Word. I professed His name and went out with the pretense of His glory but failed to recognize the departure of the glory that had taken place, my life was being marked with Ichabod, the place where God's glory once dwelt but was no more. His glory and His presence cannot be separated from His Word; when that takes place we lose access to His daily provision (the manna) as well as His protection and guidance (Aaron's rod) because they all accompany one another, the Word of the Lord, the presence of Christ, the provision of God, the protection and guidance He provides, and His glory. If the Word of God is not a part of my daily life I can safely assume that none of the others are present either.
I am desiring to see within myself the God given potential that I see in so many others around me. Living Beyond Yourself is an excellent place to begin as I learn about the power of living in the Spirit and give priority to the Word of God in my life once again, with both passion and purpose.
Abba Daddy,
Let Your Word live and breath inside of me as I do this study. Be with me during this time. I surrender every area of my life and ask that You would search through it, rightly dividing it with the Word. Use Your Word to sanctify me and wash over me that I would become more like You. I ask that this time of study would be a time we would become closer as I learn more about You and Your lavish love for me. Let there be less and less of me and so much more of You. In Jesus name, AMEN!