What does this tell me about me?
Quite a bit really!As I sit here writing this reflection, I look in the mirror and realize how driven I still am by what I can accomplish. When I sit back at the end of the week, I find myself thinking more about what I didn't finish last week and making plans for how to get it done this next week. The problem with this kind of orientation is that it means there have been a great many moments that have occurred in which I may have been more present than I was in the past, but still not fully present in the moment. How do I know this? Because I did not give these moments the opportunity to fully impact me. I can give you an example. Just today, we have had a sick grandbaby and I, myself, have been feeling under the weather; yet, I took time to go out with my husband and the grandbabies and ride downtown to go for a walk. I enjoyed myself and quietly sat beside my husband on the way home. While driving us home, he said, "I had a good time. Thank you for going with me." I heard him say this. I replied to it and even filed it in my memory; however, as I sit here writing about it my heart begins to swell. My eyes feel warm, though not wet. My breath is less shallow as it is going down deep into my diaphragm while I recall this moment. I feel safe, special, and like I am not alone, as I recall that moment, but in that moment, I did not give myself permission or time to feel any of those things. I remember that moment and remember feeling tired, irritable, and a little frustrated at the things I knew I had not finished at home, again this weekend.In this moment that I recall that memory, I realize how my week has been lavishly covered with support and love from those around me. I think about the phone call I shared today with a special friend. I recall the radio station this week, as I did the final segment, and radio host said what a special time it has been to have me there with them. I consider the debriefing after support group and the words my new friend and group facilitator shared as she told me how she experiences me and her working together. I thought of the phone messages a couple of my co-workers left for me as they checked on me to see how I was doing after my aunt's funeral. And in this moment, I laugh a little quiet laugh to myself as I hear my grandsons' voices echoing through my mind as they greeted me with "Nana!!!!!" this week, the occasions they climbed on my lap and cuddled me, or put their little hands in mine. I am so greatly loved by God and those He has placed around me!
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| My heart smiled BIG at this thought! |
I was just sharing with someone today about our challenge at work around the phrase:
MOMENTS
MATTER
Laughingly, I shared that God had been ministering to me that I did not have to "make" a moment that matters because every moment matters! He has been teaching me to appreciate the moments that make up my story and what they tell me about Him. In the moments of my life, I am truly beginning to see the fresh bouquet of tender mercies that are being delivered daily and realizing how lavishly they are displayed and given. My heart is overfull this week as I consider how greatly I am loved.
"See how very much our Father loves us for he calls us his children, and that is what we are! But the people who belong to this world don't recognize that we are God's children because they don't know him." 1 John 3:1 NLT
I am encouraged as I remember that though there may only be 24 hours in a day, when they are all filled with the lavish display that tells me how greatly God loves me I find myself agreeing with God, a thousand years is as the blink of an eye and that is okay with me! And now, may the kind and overwhelming love of my ABBA DADDY overtake you and hold you tight in an eternal embrace as His Spirit is set as the seal over you. In Jesus' name, amen.
