"And He saw them toiling in rowing; for the wind was contrary unto them: and about the fourth watch of the night (between 3-6am) He cometh unto them, walking upon the sea, and would have passed by them." Mark 6:48
I didn't know where my reflections would take me this week, until I sat in service this morning. "Suddenly" I knew! Pastor Wade Miller read the passage of the storm from Mark 6:45-52 and before he even reached verse 48 the tears were slipping from my eyes. I tell my kids all the time...Life IS hard. I hear it in the actions of those around me as they grunt and groan and pull and tug and just keep pushing to continue...Life IS hard. I see it on the aging faces of patients as they are dying and their families are doing all they can do to continue to make a living and be present and take care of their mothers, fathers, sisters, and brothers, who are preparing to leave them...Life IS hard. And then this morning, I heard it. I heard Pastor Miller as he said the daily events of life are just HARD. They are the winds we face. They are the antagonist God uses to strengthen us, teach us, and reveal Himself to us. And again I read verse 48 and let the tears fall from my eyes as I thought back through my week.
I thought of the daughter whose mother passed suddenly and the gentle touch of her hand upon my arm as she passed by me at the funeral. I thought of the tears that fell from her and her family member's eyes as they celebrated the life of this godly mother and treasure. I thought of the co-worker talking of her family reunion and listened in the silence to the words she didn't say as she talked about her kids but did not mention how her father is doing and how the family is coping with his diagnosis. I recalled the young man who hugged me and said he loved me, then replying that although his mother is still sick, she is doing better.
I remembered reading the words of young man who is still saying goodbye to all the people who come and go in his life and he wonders how to even jump start his own life and a new beginning. I considered the older man, sitting in his living room chair, tears filling his eyes as he talked about the promise he made his dying wife to care for her mother, but now fears for his own health. I recalled the fragrance of the peace lily on my desk and remembered my Uncle and the sudden and recent passing of his wife a couple of days ago. I sighed deeply as I thought my unfinished dissertation, the weariness of co-workers, the fear of my aging family members and friends, the disappointment and frustration of the young people I know just trying to get a little break somewhere as they struggle to grow up. My heart was heavy and broken and I wept because for that brief moment in time I realized life IS hard and it hurts me.So I loved the passage Pastor Wade read! I loved hearing God tell me, "Lisa, life is hard. It feels like your rowing against the wind. I know. I see you straining as you row." I was beyond blessed to recall He is the GOD WHO SEES! Just as the book of Mark describes Him as the "Suddenly" God, I knew a suddenly moment and reflected deeper in to my week. I felt the comfort of God's hand as I grabbed hold of my co-workers hand. I treasured the story of a mother's love and laughter at a family reunion as she is doing what she can to get through one day to the next. I let the memory of a young man's hug embrace me again as I recalled his words, "I love you Miss Lisa." I sat in humble silence as I thought of the many goodbye's I have said and the God who has never left, taking comfort in the assurance this young man is not alone either. I rejoiced in the shared love that inspired such a promise that a son-in-law and his mother-in-law could live together and care for one another as they are both struggling with their health. I heard the sound of my uncle's voice as he told me about my aunt and their trip to North Carolina together and the life they have built for themselves and their family and kids. I felt my heart swell with gratitude as I thought of the friend who is editing my dissertation for me and the promise in God's word that it is GOOD for a young person to experience difficulties in their youth. And in that suddenly moment my heart was lighter and I experience Him not only as the GOD WHO SEES, but also the GOD WHO COMES NEAR suddenly. It is my hope and prayer that as you reflect upon your week, you would see the suddenly moments in which God appeared in your storm and know the peace that comes as He gets in the boat with you.
