This week I have had something heavy on my mind. As I have attended funerals, been present with those grieving, and just spent time with my family, I have looked and wondered: Who will bury me? Who will preach my funeral? Who will take time off from their busy work day or at the end of the busy work day, attend my funeral or memorial service. Most of the people who do those things are older than me. My family members are all close to my age or older and more than likely will not be here. So all week long, as I have gone the days, worked on death charts, and met with many people, I have pondered who will be there to be present with my family when I am no longer? It is fascinating to me, reflecting back over the week, I find God has been speaking to me about the subject that I have considered but not shared.
As I have been studying the book of Ephesians and reading a book called "Spiritual Whitespace" and using the DVD series "Walking Through Grief", I have heard a single message being repeated to me on each occasion. In each thing I find myself being reminded of how greatly I am loved and how lavishly that love has been displayed and continues to be displayed to me. Each one of these resources in my life have reiterated the same admonition: CHOOSE JOY! This theme has echoed God's voice to the subject that has been heavy on my heart. Imagine my surprise, here I am thinking about my funeral, my end of days, and my family and what it will be like, and God's answer to the heavy pall hanging over my heart and mind is...CHOOSE JOY! In fact, He told me He wanted me to INSIST ON JOY!
What does that even mean? I had a clue with the material I've been reading, but today I fully experienced it and even now, thinking back through my day...I find myself sitting with a quiet smile on my face and a peace in my soul. As the Google Calendar says, "Today is Lisa DeCandia's Birthday all day on planet earth." Although it got off to rock beginnings and didn't go anything like the way I had thought it would, I found myself at Jones Lake National Park with my daughter, my husband, my two grandsons, and three very old family friends we met through Mikkel years ago: Clay, Celeste, and now Celeste's son, Jack. It felt surreal to be surrounded by these young people who I have not seen in several years; yet knowing, they had elected to spend today with us and celebrate my birthday. Don't get me wrong! I don't think any of them will speak at my funeral, at least I hope not ;) Except maybe Jack, he won't be old enough for several years. But in this place I was once again reminded of what it means to choose joy, insist on joy, and who would be there when I was no longer. Choosing joy and insisting on joy, for me, is the choice to experience the lavish love of God in the relationships I make with the people around me. I chose joy as I hugged Tyler and told him I loved him when he wished me a happy birthday. I chose joy and insisted on it as I listened to Nikki's voice carry down the stairs this morning saying, "Happy Birthday MOM!" I insisted on joy once again as I held Mikkel in my arms and told her I love her, and when I leaned over Jack in the car and invited him back to our house with his sword. I choose joy and insist even now as I wrap this up to go tuck my bossy grandson Thaddeus in bed and watch a show with him before he goes to sleep. I choose and insist on joy as I allow myself to experience the lavish love of God in the wonderful people around me, especially my husband, who is there holding my hand with me through it all. When there was no one else to write the obituary or conduct the funeral, God did it himself. He walked Moses to his burial ground. He wrote of him afterwards that Moses was His friend and David was a man after His heart. In all of this, I imagine He will do no less for me. Invest in those around you, for in that, I promise you draw even closer to His heart.
